I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
