No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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