hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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