I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize