I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
