JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
