this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
