just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
