I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
