He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize