i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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