I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
