saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
