The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
