She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
