I wanna passion pit in your ass
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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