dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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