i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
