He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
