Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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