The maid of honor just puked.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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