but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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