I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize