He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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