Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
