Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
