For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
