yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
