Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
