There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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