I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
