If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
