Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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