our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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