eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
