you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
