dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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