Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
