sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
