I love black thongs
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is Oprah even human
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
