My room smells like vodka and shame
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
