Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
