lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
