Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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