Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
