last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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