ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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