Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize