my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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