it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
