just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
