he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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