In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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