the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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