I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
