Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
