Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
