I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also, beer. Big fan.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
