i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i already hear my dad disowning me
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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