he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
