We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
